Some Times it's Like...

Ordering a large delicous looking ice cream sundae with all the good stuff, hot fudge, nuts, etc and after the third bite you find a long hair stuck on your spoon.
It all goes well, smooth almost, too good to be true... well that is stretching it. Nothing in my world is ever too good to be true. I can't, and refuse to go into specifics but I will say that you go merrily along and reality pulls you back into it's evil clutches. I have always struggled with this. If everything is going well I tend to question it. I know the other shoe will drop. I can never get myself to completely enjoy something because I know that the something good is always followed up with the something not so good. Self sabotage? I don't think so, it has happened too often for too long. I am glad for the good but it's always too short lived. Now I am getting that overwhelmed, too much to do, deal with feeling, again. I am sure that moving for the second time in less than a year is not helping my overall good outlook, but then when you throw on added stress triggers it's hard for me to use all of my coping skills. I would like to run away. I think that everyone has felt that way once or twice in their lives...
It's always the darkest before the dawn so I will get my flashlight and navigate my way through.
Some warmer, sunnier weather would help. I'll just bet that everyone in California who had to suffer because I was always hot is laughing their asses off at me now.
I am always cold, its always cold, my hands are frozen. The girls complain about being cold all of the time. They are over it. Our wonderful friend/neighbor called tonight and Riley answered the phone. She heard our friend's voice and dissolved into sobs. She couldn't even talk to her. It was really sad. We chatted about lots of things, our lives were quite intertwined when we lived there and then she told us that the tenants in our house are less that stellar. Nothing really bad but bad enough. Bob and I have struggled with them and with our decisions about our Calif. house for a long while now. He promptly fell asleep while I was still on the phone so knows nothing. I wish I could just roll over and fall into a deep snoring sleep. I won't. I can't. I have also missed half of "House" and while I have TIVO I was all excited. It doesn't take much to make me happy. I have not heard from my one job prospect but frankly, when would I have time to work right now? Maybe they will call when I need them too. Who knows at this point. I know I should call and follow up and perhaps I will tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day right?